just got back from visiting friends in T.O.
for the most part a good time. my anxiety and
panic hung around most of the time making it
so i was unable to completely relax. ok, i did:
sitting on the dock, looking at the sky while
camping. 20 billion years of the history of
the universe unfolded above me. humbling.
first day back at work and i can feel the
anxiety creeping stronger. i can't do that
again. like al said, i need to start
loving myself and taking care of myself.
i was a mess when i came to canada and i don't
want to return to that. i have to do something
to make myself better or risk losing friends and
myself. i've been so destructive to everyone
around me for so long. that destruction is
killing me. i can't let it.
3 comments:
YES, yes, yes!
You can do it. I believe in you. I'm here for you. I have tears in my eyes reading your lines and I see a change. I have just realized that what does it mean to love myself.
Be strong and do what you want to do. Just do it. Do it. be brave. Do it. What is it that you wanna do? Plan for it and do it.
Love you,
AL
thank you , my friend. i want to come back to canada and be able to do stuff like camping and hanging in coffee shops with friends and write and drink wine and dance like a stumblebum down the street. ....
the camping trip was unbelievable. by the time it was done, monir and i had forgiven each other so much. good times.
i will be back.
im glad you are looking positively. so when i come in october you better be in good spirits.
will look at flights this weekend.
miss you
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