I'm going to be 37 in a few months. WTF am I doing here?
I've spent most of my life either studying or in jobs I knew were only temporary, with no semblance of a real life. I'm tired of that and want to settle down. Plant some roots. I thought that was beginning to happen in Toronto. In all honesty, it was the first time in my life I was happy. So, why did I think I had to uproot myself and begin again, again? Am I going to be 40 before my life starts to fall into place? I'm so sick of being alone all the time and not having a community around me. Christ.....
Don't get me wrong; the city is great and so are the people. It's just that I've left behind everyone I've ever cared about for seemingly selfish reasons. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but everyone thinks I made the right decision. Why can't I see that?
I suppose I'm too close to the situation. Blinded and overwhelmed by the moment.
ergh, ok. Enough for now.
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1 comment:
it takes time to see things yourself. that how life goes.
try to do things that make you relax. find some pot, smoke a joint, drink a bottle of wine, have a bath, cry, throw things, break plates, get a massage, pick up a woman at a bar and take her home & and never call her again just use her for sex, let it out. you will feel a lot better.
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