i am beginning to HATE this job and life.
i took this past weekedn off because melissa visited (yeah!).
but now i'm back here and it's the same as last week and the
week before and the week before. i'm left on my own to get
work done, but in many cases i'm not sure how to proceed
and i need help, but help isn't around. then i'm asked to do
more and i can't let anybody down cause i'm the new guy
and i can't slack off. i'm beginning to feel really really
stupid. i know i'm not, but that doesn't change the fact that
i KNOW i'm not getting enough done and i have no idea of
how to change that.
i'm 36 fuckin' yrs old. i've done 3 university degrees and
have worked and stressed my ass off resulting high blood
pressure and clinical depression and anger management
problems to show for it. i do not have time to socialize
which means i can't meet anybody or get involved in a
relationship.
am i whining? yeh, maybe. so fuckin what. if you felt as
shitty as i feel all the fuckin time, you'd want to complain
too. so piss off.
this is complete utter unmitigated bullshit. i fucking hate
this to the core of my rotting soul.....
p.s.-and before anybody says it: NO, it will not get better.
this is the way the job and life here is. it has not got better
in 2 months. it has not changed in 2 months.
p.s.s.-i do not socialize anymore. i have nobody to socialize
with. i have no time to do so. i am destined to be a bitter
old anti-social science guy. the fun loving socializing part
of my life has now passed.
1 comment:
That was very angry. We all get pissed off. That's OK. I remember when I started my current job a lot of shit was dumped on me that I did not know how to handle. There was a pile of old electronic equipment and computer boards and software with no manuals and I was supposed to get it working. I didn't know where to start. I did find help. Calling companies, talking to techs, using the internet. I eventually managed to do stuff I never thought I could and it gave me a sense that given enough time, I could figure out how to do almost anything. I hope you can find that in your job too.
As far as socializing goes, being alone in a new city sucks, it's true. It takes a lot of time and effort and patience to find and join clubs, groups, whatever. Maybe just going on a date once a week would be a good start. Online dating is an easy way to meet other people who are looking. Don't have time? Contract out if you have to. Send me some pictures and some profile info and I'll do the emails and set up the live meets for you. I bet some of your other friends would be happy to do that as well. You have more resources than you realize. Maybe speed dating or a meet market adventures outing. You just need a few connections to get things started with the social life. MMA has a singles intro to bartending May 15th. Sounds perfect for you. Check it out at:
http://www.meetmarketadventures.com/events/chicago.html
DL
Post a Comment