BIG FUCKIN' DEAL

nothing new has happened besides
work, alcohol consumption, and sleep.

i do not do anything anymore except
those 3 things. on the weekend, i'm
too confused and tired to try to find
anything interesting to do.
i am quickly approaching
my late 30s and all i have to show for
my life are my university degrees.
whoop-dee-fuckin-do.

note: high blood pressure, clinical
depression, no house, no car, plenty
of debt, no wife, no kids, no pets.

pathetic, isn't it? well, that's all
i have....time to just accept it, bury my
head and wait for the heart attack to
get it all over with.

the thing is, i'm not really depressed
like i would have been 5 yrs ago. now
i'm just angry and upset that i've wasted
so much time on such meaningless crap
like this so-called "education" and
"work". big fucking deal it all is.

listen, trust me on this, don't go to
grad school. learn a trade of some sort.
learn something that will give you the
free time to live your life and do things
besides work. don't rot your life away
from people and experiences and life. i
feel i have and i regret it so damn much.

live a life. don't work a life....

signed
Chris
(waiting for the heart attack)