Sunday, July 27, 2008

"I can feel it coming in the air tonight...hold on, hold on...."

change is in the air...

i'm not a superstious person. i don't believe
in miracles. but i believe in signs.

here are 3 today:
- at a social function with work
colleagues, one mentioned "when i leave..."
- later, at the regular Irish music night i attend,
the band has all changed. the regular band
members are gone.
- a woman i've met there before assumed i was
a writer, based on what i don't know, but that's
what she thought i was.

take from it aht you will, but whenever i'm
restless and need something i look to the
universe, or whatever, for signs on a decision.
most times, it's complete bollocks. but when
it's someting big, the pieces align, things move
into place. and i start to believe that maybe
there is something more out there...or at least
a hint of something telling me that there is
something in the air.....

6 comments:

HeygateLive said...

Well, dude, you could always try being a writer. Then it's sixty - sixty!! - plus hours a week for no money at all, years of no recognition and trying to get published in an industry that rewards oh, I don't know, the Da Vinci's Code and uber-fakes like Augusten Burroughs and that other twat, James Frey whose novel was reviewed in the NYTimes. Sure, I enjoy doing it, but i sure as fuck don't enjoy being broke.

Well, I'm in London now. The recession's very real. I'm about one week away from going flat broke and I can't find any job at all - not even a stupid one. That worries me. Try being unemployed for awhile - without UI - and you'll get to know real desperation.

But I too feel change is in the air. I think it's general, like in the midst of this morass people are starting to get desperate for something better. Life feels so fucking fake now.

Ti Christophe said...

yeh, i think i'll just dabble for awhile....shit. i'm afraid it will probably always been a side thing for me unless i catch a very lucky break.

the industry also rewards people like palahniuk and many many others who are very talented. frey and his ilk are th eparis hilton's of literature: vapid and transitory.

real bummer about no work. ergh. what are your plans then?

change is coming. life feel fuckin fake constantly down here. i've applied for work in smaller cities around toronto. i'm tired of the big shit. i need space and peace for my well being.

take care and good luck...ttys

btw....
the channel-4 sit-com "spaced" jsut came out on dvd in north amererica last week. life in london. reminded me of you, especially since one of the main characters was in a aquat at the beginning of the series. really funny show.

HeygateLive said...

Funny, haven't even heard of it. I'm so behind the ball TV wise. Why, I haven't seen one episode of the Wire!!

Yes, talent does get rewarded. One has to remember that. It IS a lot of work though. Almost anything professional is a fuck of a lot of work. Especially now. I can feel recession's bite kicking in. Got offered the same shitty job I was doing last winter - for two pounds less an hour!

Are you REALLY sure you want to live in Oshawa? Plenty of depressed folk there I'm sure. I might be back in Toronto by the fall - or back in NY at least. I will say one thing: people did not seem happy in Toronto. Not optimistic about the future. That's something to consider.

Brahm was in London. He lives in Paris now. He filmed me on the Heygate. I'll write you a proper email soon, as well as write it up on the blog. So fucking busy just trying to find work.

Ti Christophe said...

the show was on in 1999 and 2000 so jsut new to dvd in north america.

oshawa is at least a short drive to t.o. and also i'm realizing i need a bit of a slower pace to calm my mind. i like the city, but i need space and quiet more. and it's not the states.

paris eh? well, whadda ya know ....

good luck with job hunting. it does indeed suck like a $2 doller whore.

btw, palahniuk worked fulltime for 10 yrs after 'fight club' was published before he could give it up to write fulltime.

take it easy...looking forward to the next blog entry.

HeygateLive said...

So. . . . how do you know about 52 dollar whores? Just curious.

Yeah, I know it takes a long time. One of my almost had jobs was paying out royalties to 'authors'. Through this I found the depressing statistic that the average wage for a UK writer is 10,000 Cdn. And it took Ian Rankin, a very popular (and good) crime writer EIGHT books to start making that amount.

Ti Christophe said...

no no , that was two dollar whores....my father was in the navy.

$10000 Cdn? yikes.

but some hairy neanderthal makes $10 million throwing a football around....